Vicarious Love
by Sherlockian-Spy
Summary: AU! Dean is a preacher shaken in his faith over the death of his brother. He meets the mysterious Castiel who seems to know him from somewhere.
1. Letters from No One

Vicarious Love

Sherlockian-Spy

Letters from No-One

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><p>Another letter addressed to Sam. They'd been coming since Sam died. Dean assumed they'd been coming since before the accident, only Sam had been alive to get them. There was no return address. Dean couldn't send the letters back or write whoever it was to tell them Sam was dead. They were really starting to pile up on Sam's old desk, yet, Dean couldn't bring himself to throw them out. They'd come once a month, the latest one made it thirty-one letters that Sam would never read.<p>

Dean sighed and sank onto his sofa, beer in hand. He missed his little brother. Sam had only been twenty-two. He'd gotten a full scholarship to Stanford. He was going to become a lawyer. He'd been so happy and Dean had been so proud of him. He'd come home for spring break, telling Dean that he was graduating from his pre-law program and he'd be starting actual law school in the fall. Again, with a full scholarship. Dean could still hear his excited voice.

He'd gone out to get them some takeout for dinner. It was just a quick trip up to the burger joint and then home. He wasn't supposed to get hit by a log truck, and get knocked off the road. He'd had a future. he wasn't supposed to die on the side of the road, alone.

Dean wasn't a fool. He knew bad things happened. As a preacher, he knew God always had a plan, but as an older brother, he also knew he couldn't accept that Sammy's death had been part of some plan. He couldn't accept that God's plan for Sam was to die at twenty two.

After another two beers, Dean had been ready to pass out. It was ten thirty, and he still had to finish the bulletins for next week's service. His assistant was good, but she could only do so much. Half-way down the hall to his room, he heard a hard knock on the front door. Staggering towards it, he opened it to find a guy on his door step with a suitcase.

"Dean! Castiel Delafoy, nice to see you again. Did Sam tell you I was coming?"

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><p>AN: This is a request from pleaselistentomemydearcastie l on tumblr. This is my first Supernatural fic! I'm sorry if I don't get any of the characters right. D: Also, I decided to make Dean a Presbyterian preacher as opposed to Catholic like my prompter requested because I know more about the Presbyterian church. I've really taken a lot of liberties with this idea. Also, again, instead of it being an accident that killed his mom AND brother, I'm operating under both Winchester parents were dead. More angst for me to write that way.

Also, I know it's short but please bear with me, they won't all be this short.


	2. Of the Faith

Of the Faith

~Sherlockian-Spy~

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><p><em><strong>AN: Sorry this has taken me so long to get out. I know it's not very long but my aunt died and I've been in a horrible funk. I hope to get longer chapters out faster.**_

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><p>For two years Castiel had been looking forward to today. He'd been writing to Sam, telling him about the work he'd been doing distributing Bibles to underground churches, and working with Voice of the Martyrs* to help the families of imprisoned Christians. Sam hadn't been able to write back because Cas hadn't been able to tell him where he'd be due to both safety reasons and because the group he had been with had moved around city-to-city almost constantly.<p>

Now he was back in the States, and if Sam was on track he'd be graduating soon. The two of them had agreed before Cas left that he would stay with the Winchester brothers for the summer. So, here he was, standing in front of his friend's house, waiting anxiously for Dean to open the door.

Cas straightened his shirt, and trenchcoat, he couldn't help but be nervous. He hadn't seen Dean since he'd been in highschool. He'd been friends with Sam for nearly a year when he first met the elder Winchester brother. He'd instantly fallen for him. He had been seventeen, and known he was gay for at least three years. When Sam had found out about his crush, Cas had been picking Sam up from school, their father had to work late, and Sam had stayed to study with Cas and some other kids from their English class. That was when he'd first seen Dean Winchester.

The man who opened the door was not what Castiel remembered. It was quite obviously Dean, but his facial hair was grown past being stubble but not at the stage to be considered an actual beard, his clothes were wrinkled and stained, he had dark circles under his eyes and Dean Winchester was obviously drunk. He grinned nervously,

"Dean! Castiel Delafoy, nice to see you again. Did Sam tell you I was coming?"

"You're not funny, asshole.

"So you weren't told? Did Sam even give you the letter I sent you? I put it in with his."

Dean's eyes narrowed,

"You've been sending those letters?"

"Yes?"

The other man's face lost some of it's glower. Now he just looked tired. Cas found he'd rather him look angry.

"Come in."

Castiel followed him into the house. In the den he saw for empty beer bottles on the coffee table surrounded by newspapers. The house was clean but untidy, which conflicted with what Sam had told him about his brother.

"So umm, isn't Sam graduating soon?"

Dean looked at him for a minute before speaking,

"Why don't any of those letters have return addresses?"

"I worked with Voice of the Martyrs distributing Bibles and supplies to Christians in countries where Christianity is illegal. So I couldn't say where I was. Sam and I talked before I left though, and he said he'd talk to you about me staying the summer, or at least until I found a job and could get a place of my own. Not for free , I'd do any necessary repair work and cleaning."

"I guess he planned to tell me closer to when you'd be showing up."

"I guess. Looks like he forgot though," Cas said with a nervous laugh.

"More like he didn't have time."

Dean stared at the floor, not offering anymore of an explanation.

"Time? Why wouldn't he have had time?"

"Because, Sammy died over a year ago."

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><p><strong>AN: Cas's name means "Of the Faith" roughly. I hope you guys liked! Please review! It insipres me!**

_*VOM: Voice of the Martyrs is an actual group. They do work with the underground churches. I don't know how much mission work they do but they do distribute Bibles._


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